"Well you do him, obviously.”
Tahno automatically held up his hands to defend himself from whatever innocent pillow Zana decided to lob at him this time. He waited patiently for her to settle down before continuing.
“Honestly— Agni, Zana, it would be about time. You two have been flirting around each other for weeks and I am absolutely sick of it. If I have to hear another one of your “that joke was terrible and I am just laughing to get you in my pants” giggles I’m going to scream.”
Tahno moved forwards to pat down the puffed-up coverlet so he could see Zana’s face better. He offered her a subtly-affectionate smirk before continuing;
"At any rate, I don’t see how him being Alphonse’s brother is a problem. The Alchemist is great at sex. God, you should see the way he wrings orgasms out of me. It probably runs in the family. In fact, now you have to have sex with the runt just to confirm this, for science, of course. And— ooh! We can go on double dates, Zana!” The bender laughed at how Zana’s ears reddened, reaching forwards to clasp her hands delightedly.
"Yeah, that is so happening. I’m going to call the Alchemist right now and tell him the good news."
"It’s almost like no one is listening to the advice I’ve already given out.”
"I’m afraid it’s simply impossible to be as awesome and fabulous as me.”
"But then again, since it is you asking, Fire-rat, I suppose I can offer up a few words of advice.
First things first: Get rid of that awful hairdo. You look like a hedge-trimmer tried to fashion up a turtleduck on top of your head.
And while we’re at it, those eyebrows need some work. How on Earth did your moustache get up there? No seriously, earthbender, you really must get around to doing a bit if spring cleaning. If you want to have as many dedicated fans as I do, your eyebrow game needs to be strong. Sharp. So sharp it could kill a man. Understand?
I would say something about your fashion sense, but I really don’t have the time. I’ve got to go practice some of my moves for the next game. Oh, here’s a final tip for you, Bolin, to be as awesome and fabulous as I am— don’t lose.”
flirtyalphonse said: *adds to drafts* will totes respond later lmao. this is too good. thanks for answering!
"Looking to become a great waterbending champion such as myself, hm?"
"An admirable endeavor, but I’m afraid I can’t help you. No one can become quite as awesome a waterbender as I am myself. Try praying to the gods, I suppose.”
Tahno shoved the Alchemist’s hand away from his face with a noise of displeasure.
"Is this math?” he asked, looking down upon the sheet with disdain. Tahno had absolutely no idea what the strange figures and squiggles on the page meant, but there was no way he was going to admit it. “This is easy. I can’t believe you’ve spent so long on it.”
"But not to worry, Alchemist, I have the perfect solution for you.” Tahno stood up, brushing his coat off before offering his hand to Alphonse with a grin.
"Screw math. We’re going out drinking."
Tahno is giving out FREE words of wisdom tonight. Get your
terrible egotistical self-important favorite celebrity to answer your q’s!
non-Jewish people going on today about “reclaiming” Anne Frank as a “bi icon” or w/e make me really uncomfortable, because it has this ring of “all this time I thought she was just some Jewish kid, but now it turns out she’s one of us!!!!” like if you didn’t find Anne Frank’s story moving until you realized she shared some marker with you then maybe you should reconsider your whole approach to this whole “empathy” thing.
as a jewish bisexual person i definitely agree. it makes me incredibly uncomfortable as well, especially considering it’s coming from people who aren’t jewish in the first place. like there’s this attitude that judaism made her less relatable, less deserving of empathy, less important as a historical character despite her having been a teenage girl writing down her most intimate thoughts. it feels like some people are erasing the impact and importance of being jewish in order to bring more attention to bisexuality… and i am all for bringing attention to bisexuality; bisexual erasure is a huge problem; but this is most definitely not the way to do it. jews have been erased in history too, and jewish experiences of the holocaust have so often been erased, ignored, depoliticized, degraded, and more.
my entire family was murdered in the holocaust; my grandmother is a living survivor of it all; and yet do you know how often i am told to “not get so worked up about it”? because it was “so long ago”, because i never directly experienced it myself, because “it wasn’t just jews let’s ignore the jews jews have SO MUCH PRIVILEGE IN HOLOCAUST CONVERSATIONS (privilege of being recognized for having been tortured, murdered? don’t even get me started…)”? you can talk about jews AND other people being discriminated against without demeaning jews, without making their struggle less “worthy”, but unfortunately in the act of non-jewish people labeling anne frank as a “bi icon” i don’t think that is what is happening here. (and yes, i know gay people were persecuted too- but that wasn’t part of anne frank's story specifically)
i further feel a lot of discomfort in labeling her identity at all using a modern queer label… bisexuality as we know it now did not exist in the 1930-40s. anne frank absolutely may have been attracted to multiple genders, but that doesn’t make it appropriate to attach any label to her when she never stated it outright herself, when labels are mutable and change over time and place based on sociopolitical context. whatever her identity, it doesn’t make it appropriate to focus entirely on that when so much of her story is about being persecuted as a jew in the goddamn holocaust.
anne frank will never be “one of us”— no, let me rephrase. we will never be anne franks- without going through the holocaust ourselves not a single one of us will ever be able to truly understand her experiences. but the point is anne frank could have been any of us. she is devastatingly human in a world that rejected her humanity simply for what she believed in, for what she was proud of, for what she was born into. you don’t need her to be from your background specifically to understand how horrific it was to have a young girl, to have anyone living in and being raised in such a terrible world- and terrible doesn’t even begin to cover it. nobody deserves that. not a single person. and like missvoltairine so accurately stated, if you can only understand that when the situation applies to you specifically, there is a much bigger issue here than whether or not anne frank’s sexuality can be labeled using modern queer terminology.
IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! IT’S FINALLY HERE!
THE 500 FOLLOWER GIVEAWAY FROM GOODBETTERBETTA!
So here’s what’s going down. To thank all of my followers for all the love and loyalty throughout the years goodbetterbetta has been running, I’m giving away some cool shit (or at least I think it is).
Here’s how it works. The giveaway is starting now (at 475 followers) and will end when goodbetterbetta reaches 500. You can like and reblog as many times as you’d like to increase your chances. You must be following goodbetterbetta since this whole thing is to thank my lovely followers, and must be comfortable giving me your address so I can ship the goodies to you if you win. Sorry international followers, but I can only ship to the US and Canada. Once goodbetterbetta reaches 500, I will take a list of the notes this post has received and using a number generator, I will pick the lucky number. I will be contacting the winner through ask, so please have your ask box open!
Now, for the fun part of this post: the list of things I’m giving away!
- The forever-stylish foam fish hat, as modeled by me, Kenny
- The Complete Home Aquarium, by Hans J. Mayland. It was published in 1976, so the technology is a little outdated, but the information for the fish remains largely the same. Plus, it has pretty color pictures.
- A painted wooden marine angelfish necklace
- A sprinkling of these adorable little plastic goldfish in many colors
- The latest edition Pet Solutions magazine for fish
- A glass paperweight with little painted fish inside
- The usual chemicals for maintaining a tank- AquaSafe to dechlorinate and condition the water, EasyBalance to maintain water chemistry and pH, and Start Zyme to reduce sludge and hopefully maintain biological balance.
- Treats for the fishies, TetreBetta floating mini pellets (late Amon’s absolute favorite) and Tetra freeze-dried bloodworms
So, that’s it for now! Good luck to everyone and let me know if you have any questions!
Kenny of goodbetterbetta
PS- please have at least one fish tank… it would be rather silly if I sent this to someone without any fish. And none of that betta/goldfish in a vase or bowl crap, pleaseee.
FIVE FOLLOWERS LEFT UNTIL GOODBETTERBETTA HITS 500!
REBLOG NOW WHILE YOU CAN! :D